i just had a great and desperately needed softball/drinking day.  i was super depressed from being sick and missing all the fun things i was going to be doing last week.  and so i really needed that.  we went to kellen's house in connecticut and played softball in his backyard and did the drinking debauchery thats always fun.  i learned that at a campout, either have a fuck buddy, or have your own tent.  cause no matter how you plan where you're going to sleep, you're cockblocking somebody.  i made 3 different sleeping nests only to have to move to allow some couple to have some 'lone time.  at one point i just said no.  IM SLEEPING HERE. YOU MOVE.  but it all worked out (ish).  i got like 4 hours or so of sleep like thing.

and now, i'm back home, packing up all my things.  i hate doing this.  i do it so often its a process.  first i take down my posters.  then i fill my book boxes.  then i load up the big boxes.  then i fold all my clothes.  it just sucks.
but the worst part is, i'm moving away from all my new best friends.  i was extremely sad to leave vassar.  extreme depressed.  but then i made a group of wonderful freinds.  i have 5 bros (something dank haus was but not quite like this.  i've always wanted to be a bro).  i have my group of girls (who by obligation think i'm the nicest young boy - that is, my friendzone crew).  and i have a great feel for boston and where to go and what to do.  O and i have my work buddies.  who are awesome.  getting paid is sweet.  and when i get paid appropriately, i'm going to be (effectively) loaded.  cause i spend tons of money on alcohol already and i can more or less support the drinking on my measely current salery.  i just imagine what i could do with a proper engineer salary.

i find myself doing the reflecting thing a lot.  i mean thats what you do when you pick up and move your life.  i've been thinking mostly about if i played my summer right.  most of my goals were met.  i don't really wanna get into it, but i think i made the right decisions.  cause what i wanted - to live in a big city and have a crazy fun time - is what i got.  i just don't want to let it go.

and even though its scary to say, i didn't need my vassar people to make it happen.  i miss them.  all the freaking time. but thats what will make seeing them so special, is the being away.  it'll make going to nyc so much extra special.

(don't cry)